Living Without Those We Love

by Linda Hullinger

My grandmother died of a massive heart attack on my birthday last year in June.  Being that she has always been a source of guidance both physically and spiritually in my life, I believe that her crossing over on my birthday was her message to me that she viewed it as a celebration.

All through my life she taught me big lessons in small ways.  She taught me how to pay attention to the signs of nature, when to plant vegetables, how to recognize when it would be a harsh winter, and the best way to make a peach cobbler.

Even though it has been almost a year since she crossed over, I still reach for the phone to call her and ask how much milk goes in her coconut pie recipe.  So how do we live without those we love?  We begin to look at their presence in our life in a different way.

Having psychic abilities led me to falsely believe that my grandmother would come to me either as an apparition or in a dream immediately after she crossed.  It was two weeks before she ever came to me in a dream and during that time she informed me that she was not concerned about me, she knew I didn't view her as gone, just that she was in a different place.  And she had to tend to the others first, those who were not as sure that she was "okay."

Since that dream, I have been able to recall how she forewarned me of her approaching death and that she accepted it in a positive way.  When I was a child she told me that seeing a shooting star was a sign of a death, and that seeing a rainbow meant that something good was going to happen.  Three nights before my birthday, my youngest son and I were sitting outside and out of the blue he began talking about shooting stars.  The following night, my oldest son came in the house and led me back outside to show me the rainbow that he had just seen.  Several hours later, my daughter asked for a book from my office, and on the way back inside my house, I looked up and saw a shooting star.  Each of my children were led to show me my grandmother's guiding message in a different way.

So how do we learn to live without those we love?  We learn to treasure the moments we have with those who are still in our life, and who continue to guide us with messages from those who are not.

Though my grandmother hadn't crossed over when those messages were given, her spirit guided my children to let me know in advance that seeing the shooting star indicating her death was a good thing to her, just like seeing the rainbow.  It was no coincidence that they occurred on the same night.

The last comment I made to my grandmother that morning when she called me from Florida to wish me a happy birthday was, "I wish you could visit me."  Now, through those who are still in my life, she does.