Living Without Those We Love
My grandmother died of a massive heart attack on my
birthday last year in June. Being that she has always
been a source of guidance both physically and
spiritually in my life, I believe that her crossing
over on my birthday was her message to me that she
viewed it as a celebration.
All through my life she taught me big lessons in small
ways. She taught me how to pay attention to the signs
of nature, when to plant vegetables, how to recognize
when it would be a harsh winter, and the best way to
make a peach cobbler.
Even though it has been almost a year since she crossed
over, I still reach for the phone to call her and ask
how much milk goes in her coconut pie recipe. So how
do we live without those we love? We begin to look at
their presence in our life in a different way.
Having psychic abilities led me to falsely believe
that my grandmother would come to me either as an
apparition or in a dream immediately after she
crossed. It was two weeks before she ever came to me
in a dream and during that time she informed me that
she was not concerned about me, she knew I didn't view
her as gone, just that she was in a different place.
And she had to tend to the others first, those who
were not as sure that she was "okay."
Since that dream, I have been able to recall how she
forewarned me of her approaching death and that she
accepted it in a positive way. When I was a child she
told me that seeing a shooting star was a sign of a
death, and that seeing a rainbow meant that something
good was going to happen. Three nights before my
birthday, my youngest son and I were sitting outside
and out of the blue he began talking about shooting
stars. The following night, my oldest son came in the
house and led me back outside to show me the rainbow
that he had just seen. Several hours later, my
daughter asked for a book from my office, and on the
way back inside my house, I looked up and saw a
shooting star. Each of my children were led to show me
my grandmother's guiding message in a different way.
So how do we learn to live without those we love? We
learn to treasure the moments we have with those who
are still in our life, and who continue to guide us
with messages from those who are not.
Though my grandmother hadn't crossed over when those
messages were given, her spirit guided my children to
let me know in advance that seeing the shooting star
indicating her death was a good thing to her, just
like seeing the rainbow. It was no coincidence that
they occurred on the same night.
The last comment I made to my grandmother that morning
when she called me from Florida to wish me a happy
birthday was, "I wish you could visit me." Now,
through those who are still in my life, she does.