By Rhiannon Waits
Much to the sadness of those who have been the victims of an unfaithful partner, we live in a world of unfaithful love. You cannot fully understand the deep, life-draining pain of unfaithful love unless you experience it … and I would not wish this on my worst enemy. The first realization feels somewhat like being hit in the stomach with a baseball bat.
The one thing that does really bother me about it all is that a large number of individuals who become scarred by this injustice seem to commit this act against their mate at some point in their life. These would make you wonder if they were taught: “Do unto others as they do unto you,” instead of: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
I myself learned the pain of this when I was 20 years old. I was totally devastated and am still unable to remember the two days that followed. I had begun my marriage with the ideal of becoming
10 LITTLE LESSONS ON LOVE AND LIFE
one with my husband. I believed I would always be married to him,
would die for him, and never have another man for the rest of my
life. Sadly, the ideals of this 17-year-old bride were quickly crushed,
and the ways of the world began to teach me harsh reality. I was
divorced at the young age of 19 but felt much older due to the
heartache this relationship bestowed upon me.
When I first found out that my first husband was cheating on
me, I lost my breath … and the next two days were just a blur. I
know of men who have been totally ruined and turned into heartless,
bitter spirits targeting all women for the disceptions of the
woman they had once loved. I have witnessed women vindictively
setting the stage for the heartbreak of a man, and men inflicting
pain on other women because of the injustices they have incurred.
This is a horrible state of affairs and at some point, we all need to
scream, “STOP!” We all need to take a good inventory of what our
goals are whenever we become involved with another human being
and stop the constant betrayal of a union we have embarked on.
It really does not matter if you are married, with a significant
other, or just a dating couple. You and your mate both deserve
respect by not having the other engage in romantic or sexual relationships
outside of your bond. If you cannot give this to your
partner, then you need to end the relationship so you are both spiritually
free to see others. However, do not think I am saying to take
your commitment lightly! I am not! Once you have entered into a
relationship, you owe it your best try before you move on. Relationships
are not diapers to relieve yourself in and cast away. They should
be entered into with the mindset of ‘forever.’ There’s no trial period
given for a mattress, so why would there be with a person.
Today’s world offers more possibilities of fidelity from our pet
than our mate. Throughout history, the word ‘faithful’ has been
11 RHIANNON WAITS
used to describe the dog, and yet has not been portrayed about the
Some species of snakes choose to mate for life. If its mate dies,
the surviving snake will curl up by the deceased and lie there without
nourishment until it too dies. I witnessed this sight as a child,
and was deeply touched by it, and have carried it within me through
Now, I ask you to think about what ‘fidelity’ means to you, and
if it is something that is important to the entire structure of your
future relationships. I believe your ability to stand strong with integrity
will tell who you are, and what others can expect from you
in all that you undertake. It is all about moral fiber and fortitude.
Your ability to stand by your mate when the times are bad – to love
him or her whenever you think you do not know what it is, and to
give unto your mate all that your inner being desires another to give
you – will show who the inner spirit truly is.
May your spirit outshine your body, and your body reflect your
spirit. Remember: your spirit should dominate its physical dwelling
at all times. This chapter is about being faithful – not only to your
mate but yourself.
12 LITTLE LESSONS ON LOVE AND LIFE
“Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than
— Alexander Pope (1688–1744)
“If I were to select a watchword that I would have every young
man write above his door and on his heart, it would be that good
word ‘Fidelity.’ I know of no better. The man who meets every
obligation to the family, to society, to the State, to his country,
and his God, to the very best measure of his strength and ability,
cannot fail of that assurance and quietness that comes of a good
conscience, and will seldom fail of the approval of his fellowmen,
and will never fail of the reward which is promised to his
Do Not Mistake My Kindness
many months go by without the telephone ringing and a familiar
voice saying, “Yahete, Beautiful Creature!” I will pull out my Rolodex and place
a call to Chief Sonne Reyna. “Chiefy” as I call
him, lives in
Yet, to all who know him, he is a gentle heart who makes you smile. The chief has a real zest for life … and that is stating it mildly. He could be anywhere or have any or no title, and the lessons he taught would be the same.
and I met in
We had traveled in the New Age Circle for quite sometime, and chatted on the phone, but it wasn't until the show in Charlotte that we actually got meet each other in person.
When we were introduced the first time, we became friends and stayed in contact from that point on. I think we all met and
became friends with many who had beliefs systems different than ours. Even though we could not believe as some of our new friends did, generally we still respected their right to believe as they wished. I believe that is one of the most beautiful things about most New Age People.
The one thing most of us had in common was the desire to better the world. (Note my deliberate use of the terms ‘most of us’ and ‘generally’ in this paragraph.)
While we were both appearing in
Chief Sonne had sat silently through one such show of petulance from one of our fellow speakers and watched me speak and
interact on different levels trying to be polite. It had been spurred on by a particular earlier event that had left me feeling hurt and insulted. Sonne came up to me and said, “Rhia, precious goddess, do not allow others to treat you badly in exchange for your kindness.
Turn to these people and say, ‘Do not mistake my kindness for weakness. Don’t you dare!’ Find strength in your kindness, and accept your self-respect and your ability to show it graciously.” The realization of what his words meant left me speechless.
Such a simple concept yet it had never dawned on me before. People do mistake others’ kindness for weakness all the time! Why hadn’t I seen this before? His words at that moment sunk into my very core. I have always been the type who let others run over me until they reach a certain point. By me being mellow and giving, many have mistaken my kindness as a weakness and would disrespect me.
I must admit, at those times, I had not treasured my ability to show kindness in the face of adversity. I had not accepted my gift with grace but instead as a weakness and with shame. The dawning of this little Lesson on Love and Life was one of awe.
At that moment, I decided I would start to change how I handled my life. I would make sure that people who would use my kindness and disrespect me with words would learn the lessons that the Chief had shared with me. I would speak his words with strength and in such a way that they demanded attention yet still reflected kindness. I held on to them as if these words were worth more than all the gold in the world … and with just cause. They were, and still are, more valuable than I can put a price on. They helped me see how much strength there can be in kindness and how much pride there is in strength. We can all be strong and kind at the same time, where kindness is not an act of humility or surrender.
As the days grow in number since Chief Sonne and I first met, we have had many discussions on how to better serve the people of the world. Sonne is quite talented, giving to the world not only in speech but also in song, dance and art. He travels from country to country sharing his “Wiping away of the Tears” ceremonies and many other healing ceremonies his tribe holds sacred. When it comes to sharing his lesson to me, who gave him permission to share the ways or his birth rites are inconsequential. It is one not for me to judge, but to feel good for the gifts he has imparted and the good he has sown. I am just thankful that he reached out to teach those around him lessons that were once shared with him. As I stated before, we all have different beliefs in many areas, yet there are times the Chief and I are on the same page.
This beautiful lesson he shared with me about the gift of being able to know the difference between kindness and weakness, I now share with you. I hope you carry it with you proudly and with the grace I was taught. Share with all who will listen and do not waste time sharing with those who are not ready to hear. Sonne Reyna shared the lesson he taught to me at a point in my life when it was much needed.
This lesson he taught is gold, and one that will forever be thought of when you hear his name. If we teach but one lesson to the world, we have dropped a pebble into the lake of humanity to create ripples throughout many souls. I share these quotes from other knowledgeable people, whose wisdom is also worth repeating. “It is a good idea to be ambitious, to have goals, to want to be good at what you do, but it is a terrible mistake to let drive and ambition get in the way of treating people with kindness and decency. The point is not that they will then be nice to you. It is that you will feel better about yourself.” Your kindness will no longer be a weakness and hopefully then , your words will be increase in stranght.
— Robert Solow, Ettiene De Grellet
“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.”
— Dalai Lama
“Today we are afraid of simple words like goodness and mercy and kindness. We don’t believe in the good old words because we don’t believe in good old values anymore. And that’s why the world is sick.”
— Lin Yutang
“Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolutions.”
— Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)
Rhiannon Waits is a successful
and sought after Spiritual and Motivational Speaker. A syndicated Columnist,
Rhiannon's column "Rhia's Corner" has become a huge hit in and out of the New
Age Arena. Her Book, "Little Lessons on Love and Life" premiered in
Rhiannon's Main Page
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